机会可遇不可求
感叹自己的机遇
羡慕别人的成就
当机会在敲门时
却那么突如其来
毫无心理准备下
不知该如何把握

一切就像一场梦
自己一直向往的
终于出现在眼前
却有点胆怯害怕
想紧紧抓住它吧
又觉得没有实力
担心被人瞧不起

想放开这个机会
未来一定会后悔
那就好好抓紧它
让人生不再留白
没有解决不了的
一步一步看着办
大不了打回原形

祝你成功好好干!

真的睡不着，翻来覆去就是睡不着
脑海里一直闪着零零碎碎的画面

医生好友一天只睡五个小时，工作一星期七天，从早上八点到晚上十一点
她那憔悴的样子，睁不开皆红肿的眼睛，有气无力的言语，让我深深感叹
名誉地位金钱是牺牲健康体力时间换来的

律师好友花了几百千的英磅，六年的时间修完学士硕士学位，通过培训考试
走完英国欧洲每个角落，刷爆了两张信用卡，到现在还在游手好闲，游山玩水，不亦乐呼
世界上竟有如此幸运，如此幸福的人

律师好友的弟弟与志同道合的朋友合股开了咖啡厅，投资几百千，生意蒸蒸日上
展览搞手的好友与旧同事自立门户，拼凑自己的事业版图，延伸到服装行业，搞网上服装部落格
他们都好厉害，看准时机，天时地利人和，创造自己的事业和财富

会计师好友年少荒废学业，我们在象牙塔拼成绩，她在花花世界拼爱情与金钱，
到我们拼事业，她就回象牙塔拼学位，总算让她拼到了个毕业典礼，
踏上轨道，找到自己的事业方向

而我和另一位好友还在寻找，寻找属于自己的天空
觉得自己是在寻找着遗失的拼图，一块块的拾起，慢慢的东拼西凑
究竟要花多少年才能完成我的拼图呢

想着想着，跳入另一个画面
证人里谢霆锋误杀了个小女孩，拼命地要救回女孩被绑架的妹妹
印象最深刻的，就是他的这句话
你快点醒呀，你醒了跟我跑。。你不醒。。我跑不下去。。我真的跑不下去了。。
他因为内疚，承受不了罪恶感，萌起开枪自杀的念头。。

他那句话，我真的跑不下去了，深深的敲击了我
夜深人静时，独自思考，会觉得人生有点跑不下去
站在十字路口，不知该往那个方向走，犹豫不决，裹足不前

证人里连环撞车画面，唤起了埋葬在脑海深处的记忆
曾经因为自己的自私，年少无知，胆小怕事，连累了亲人被巴士撞伤了腿
如果他的腿断了，我想我真的跑不下去了

人生在世，忙忙碌碌，奔奔波波，寻寻觅觅，追追求求，究竟为了什么
为了三餐温饱，为了养妻活儿，为了伺奉两老，
为了偿还债务，为了房贷车贷，为了物质享受，
为了满足虚荣，为了荣华富贵，为了名利双收，
为了周游列国，为了退休养老，为了馆材墓地

如果，如果以上所说都不在人生拼图里，那为了什么还要继续拼凑呢？

Dear Diary,

原来是这么一回事, 我现在才懂;
原来研究工作是这么一回事, 我现在才了解;
原来研究工作是那么麻烦及孤独的, 我现在才知道;
原来做研究要读那么多论文, 我现在才体会;
原来我不大喜欢这样的工作, 我现在才发觉;
原来这不是我要走的路, 我现在才惊觉;
原来兜兜转转, 我走了这么多年的冤枉路;
原来, 原来, 这不是我想要的.......

Dear Diary,

好烦恼啊！！！这几个星期真是多灾多难，不是被人骂，就是被人嫌，不是研究做不成功，就是报告做不完，我快崩溃了！！！！
谁来救我！！！样样都不顺心，搞得我精神紧张，压力压得让我喘不过气，天天睡不好，就快要精神分裂了．．．．．

Dear Diary,

王八蛋！！臭鸡蛋！！气死我了！！有什么了不起！！我是不会呀！！我是很差呀！！我是不懂那么多呀！！我是不记得呀！！那又怎样？有罪吗？犯法吗？那是我自个儿的事，你需要做得那么绝吗？呸！！自以为了不起，把我们耍得团团转是吗，看你几时被人家恶整，看你几时被人家投诉，看你几时被老板责备！！

岂有此理！！搞到我觉睡不好，书读不到，精神不好，注意力不集中，时间不够用，晚晚发恶梦，你有种！！我看你可以嚣张到几时！！从来都没见过这么无聊，不知所谓的人！！真是不可理喻！！神经病！！别人的时间不是金钱，只有你的是，所以就可以浪费我们的时间，让我们像笨蛋一样，傻傻的全力以赴，到头来扑个空！！

这口气怎样都吞不下！！太岂有此理了！！真是欲哭无泪，身心交瘁！！啊。。。。。我快疯掉了！！！！！这世界上怎么会有这种无聊人！！竟然可以想到用这样的招数来对付我们。。。。。我们是这样的人都有错吗？为什么要试图改变我们？我们的态度不行吗？为什么要为难我们？人可以说改就改的吗？你以为是机器呀！！超不的！！我真是忍不住了，必须做我生平从没做过的事，这次是破天荒，希望是第一次，也是最后一次，呐！！！！

Dear Diary,

i am so disappointed of myself......i got credits for all the four units i took last semester ......i expected better than that. 
with these results, how am i going to continue my honours next year? no hope!!
that means i can't continue my honours, as students who wish to apply for honours degree are required to achieve distinction for their core units......
.....i have nothing to say now, just feel extremely sad and moody .......desperately need to tell someone, how could this happen to me? i had tried so hard, studied like mad, my tears and blood, just for that exam.........that's the only exam i had put my effort in it, i knew.....not like the previous year, i just simply studied and did the exam.....this time, i swear, i really worked triple hard on it.......

but no use.....still couldn't get what i desired........so so so sad.......

Dear Diary,

this is really really tough, tougher than i expected, eventually i knew what a reseach project is all about.......supervisor keeps saying it isn't too late to change your mind now, you have two weeks time after the start of the semester, you can think about it.........but right now i know, for me it is too late to change my mind, because i really really wanna try and just go for it without any hesitation......

strange !! this is the first time i don't hesitate, even the supervisor had poured cold water on me......i think i won't be regret to continue the research, even though in a split second when i was having problem searching for information and reading those journals, i had thought of giving up......

as the frequency of him saying change of supervisor or give it up increases, the desire of me to carry on with his supervision increases proportionally......my friend said we can't give him a chance to look down on us .......

hope that we would be able to survive under his harsh supervision, as he doesn't wanna spoon feed us.......he wants us to tell him the protocols instead of him telling us.....

today my presentation was really really poor......i was having problem in expressing myself .......everybody was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, but i just couldn't squeeze the word out of my mouth, because i couldn't think of it for that moment ...........i should have prepared my speech, even just present in front of four persons.......

hope that tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after all these tomorrow would be better.....
hope that everything would run smoothly.......

Dear Diary,

i m so frustrated and sad right now.....couldn't find the information required for my research project......gonna meet with my supervisor soon.....have no idea what to say to him.....

this task is damn damn damn difficult .......how to survive for the next semester? i am a bit scared now......before taking this subject, thought that no matter how hard it would be, i am sure i can handle it.......but now, a bit scared of it.......

i have even told my friend who also wanna take this subject, just work extra hard for it, scare for nothing........but now, it seems like your extra hard work can't promise you anything, any results.......

Dear Diary,

just came back from Red Box, went karaoke with my friends, no word can describe my feeling now, just so so so damn ...... because i hadn't been there for a couple of month as i was busy with lab reports, assignments and exam. 

finally i m free from all these things for two to three weeks, in holiday now, so try as hard as i can to enjoy myself. 

last week went to Zouk to celebrate my friend's birthday......i was so amused by the atmosphere there......heart-beating techno songs bombarded my ears, smelly cigarette smokes attacked my nose, alcoholic drinks burnt my throat, dancing spirit moved around my body.......this was the second time i had been to the disco, but this was the first time i enjoyed myself there and danced with my friends and drank alcoholic drinks.....the drinks tasted so good, little amount of white wine mixed with full glass of pineapple juice, couldn't resist the temptation after my first try. i am sure i would bottom up few glasses if i wasn't the one who would be driving after that.

the evil side of me keeps saying, since i am still young, i should play and enjoy as hard as i can, go to the disco, pub, dancing, singing, drinking, make friends, enjoy as much as night life as i can, don't wait until i am being called aunty, only then i wanna go......
however, the good side of me says if you don't wanna take care of yourself from alcoholic drinks, second hand smokes, poor sleep quality, you are actually increasing the risk of health problems when you grow older, such as liver cancer or lung cancer......

i just don't understand, why people would rather risk their health for the split second of happiness? yes, i would say this is split second, because when it's over, when you reach home, when you wake up next morning, u feel drowsy, tired, headache, heaty, moody........bad feelings surround you.....give you tripple depression......sounds so serious.....but this was my experience, this was what i felt the day after the Zouk. 

Dear Diary,

Another sleepless night! *sign*
Gotta meet lecturer for discussion about my research topic.......
Recently I have been watching taiwanese series "The Magicians of Love", super nice! I like the plot very much, I wonder what kind of person would come up with this kind of storyline and  dialogue. Kinda admire this person who wrote the plot, so creative, fascinating and romantic......

I hope I could be able to produce this kind of script......I hope I could write novel or script.......hohoho!
i think this is not an easy job, you gotta be creative and imaginary, can think of something nobody has ever thought of, so that the storyline can be attractive enough to lure readers. i think i am not up to the standard yet.
 
I wonder, the funny and romantic love story between Artz and Bei, would it happen in our real life? kinda looking forward for this kind of love story........So touching when i watched the series, laughed with them, cried with them, totally immersed into their world, as though I was one of them.......even when i was lying on the bed, preparing to fall asleep, the plot was still playing in my head, and i smiled or laughed, which made me having insomnia, like now, couldn't sleep at all.....

I totally have no idea what made me so addicted to that series......what magic did they do on me until i lost control of myself in this series? what spell had they put on me until i lost my mind in this series? hahaha......

I am so glad that i had the chance to watch this magical series, but i am also worried that my desire will be greater than before and i won't be able to help myself with this........